April 2025

A Letter from Kim Manley Ort

Artists Reception at the Shenkman, March 5th, 2025

Hello and happy spring to you (or fall if you’re in a different hemisphere), although it’s not quite feeling like spring yet where I live. What a wild, unpredictable world! Here in Canada we have a new Prime Minister and a very important election looming. What will happen? Nobody knows.

My month began in Ottawa, where we visited family and had the artists’ reception for the photography show, CORRESPONDENCES, that I’ve been telling you about. It was wonderful to meet in person the other photographers that I’d been working with online for the past several months. The show is stunning and we had a very good turnout despite the weather. Be sure and visit if you’re in the area, as it will be up at the Shenkman Arts Centre until April 18th. On April 16th, we’ll be presenting the show and our experiences working on it to the Kinship Photography Collective.

Last month, I wrote a piece called Corresponding over Time, in response to the title of the show in Ottawa. I talked about how we are all in constant correspondence with the world around us, yet so much depends upon how we communicate. That’s what I’ve been thinking about recently and so below I’ll share some ideas and resources with you.

This letter is not about how to talk to others we disagree with or how to resolve conflicts. That’s a big subject all on its own. Rather, I’d like to explore how we make sure we have communities and people in our lives who make us feel safe, seen, and heard. We all need human connection and we grow by being in dialogue with others. It’s important that we find places where we feel a sense of belonging and where we can have real conversations.

Finding Community

When I was new to teaching online, I read the book, The Courage to Teach, by Parker Palmer. What struck me most was Palmer’s description of creating a space or atmosphere in the classroom (or online space) for what he calls a “community of truth” or “circles of trust.”

I used Palmer’s (and the Center for Courage & Renewal) guidelines for creating these types of communities for the groups that gathered for my online classes. I wanted to create a space where everyone felt safe, respected, and encouraged to express themselves. I led with the idea that we all have something to learn from each other as well as something to teach.

A community of truth is not an echo chamber; we all have plenty of those. In any community, there will always be a diversity of viewpoints and tensions and conflicts will arise. But, it’s important to have guidelines for engagement; to remember that your role is not to fix or save or correct anyone else. You will make a positive contribution if you listen well, ask good questions, and share from your own experiences.

For me, the online space created by Kinship Photography Collective is a good model of this type of community. I also have friend groups, online and off, where I feel I can be myself and have stimulating conversations. Think of the communities that you are a part of, whether they be family, a book club, a workplace, an advocacy group, or one of shared interests. Are they communities of truth or filled with judgment and tension?

We could all use more communities of truth right now. They allow us to see each other (and ourselves) more clearly. If you don’t have something like that in your life, how can you find it? Or, how can you bring the elements of a community of truth to the spaces you’re already in?

Fruitful Conversations

“When was the last time that you had a great conversation, a conversation which wasn’t just two intersecting monologues, in which you overheard yourself saying things that you never knew you knew, that brought the two of you on to a different plane, a conversation that continued to sing in your mind for weeks afterwards? I’ve had some of them recently, and it’s just absolutely amazing, they are food and drink for the soul, you know?” ~ Poet and writer John O’Donohue

I love these kinds of conversations but they are rare. Conversing with people these days can be like navigating land mines. You never know when you’re going to hit a nerve. Today, there seems to be more division than ever and this can lead to volatile situations. How do we even talk to each other anymore?

Of course, there are some people you’ll just never be able to talk to about certain things and there are times when you need to just let things be. And, there are times you need to speak your truth, no matter the outcome. However, we can all practice bringing better conversational skills to all of our interactions.

Recently, I read a book on just this subject, Supercommunicators by Charles Duhigg, which I learned about from the You Are Not So Smart podcast. At the beginning of the episode, Duhigg asks everyone to consider who they would call first if they were having a bad day? Chances are it’s not the smartest, funniest, or most charismatic person you know; rather, it’s the person who listens well and asks great questions. The book offers practical ways to communicate better, through asking good questions and listening well, as well as terrific examples.

It’s one thing to have a great conversation with a good friend. It’s quite another to have one with someone you don’t know well or have major disagreements with. Sometimes, compromise is not possible but if your main goal is connection, you can at least attempt to understand where the other person is coming from. It is through mutual understanding, not necessarily agreement, that a community thrives. Timothy Snyder offers this advice for your daily interactions.

“Make eye contact and small talk. This is not just polite. It is part of being a citizen and a responsible member of society. It is also a way to stay in touch with your surroundings, break down social barriers, and understand whom you should and should not trust. If we enter a culture of denunciation, you will want to know the psychological landscape of your daily life.” ~ Timothy Snyder, On Tyranny

Below are some resources for asking good questions and listening.

What if we focused more on questions than answers, on curiosity rather than judgment? Read: 36 Questions for Increasing Closeness via Berkeley, David Whyte’s 10 Questions that have no right to go away.

Listening well has always been a primary aspect of learning to see for me; it’s the way we see with the heart. In 2023, I wrote two posts on listening, Part 1 (listening to yourself and others) and Part 2 (listening to the land).

I hope you have some good connections and conversations this month. Please share in the comments about communities of truth that you’re a part of and/or of a great conversation you’ve had recently. Thanks for reading.

On-Demand Workshops. As a reminder, all of my previous photography workshops are now available on-demand as downloadable PDF’s through Gumroad. You can peruse them here.

** Note: Books mentioned have Amazon or Bookshop affiliate links, meaning I make a few cents if you purchase through my link. I only recommend books that I’ve read.