Get Curious

The kids in the picture above are doing what comes naturally to them, being curious. They were waiting in a long line with their parents to board a tall ship at the lake. To make the most of the time, they examined the ground at their feet. We’re all born curious but it sometimes gets dampened as we grow older. In many ways, society doesn’t encourage or cultivate this quality. Yet, in my book, Adventures in Seeing, curiosity is one of the nine contemplative habits essential to clear seeing. 

Last week, we practiced giving our mind a rest by letting go of our stories, our preconceived ideas, opinions, and judgments. I asked you to see just for the sake of seeing. Value judgments are when we decide something is right or wrong, good or bad, useful or not, based on comparison or past experiences or belief systems. They can block curiosity. Our stories are necessary and useful to a point but should always be up for review. They’re formed in the mind and can become rigid, preventing us from seeing other perspectives and possibilities. 

Do you find yourself not as curious as you used to be? I think many of us lose our sense of curiosity due to information overload and overwhelm. We just don’t have the mental energy to be curious. I’ve found that when I’m anxious, I tend to judge more. That’s when I know it’s time to get curious and actively listen. And, it feels better to be curious than to be in a place of judgement. In his book about curiosity, Todd Kashdan argues that curiosity is the missing ingredient to a life of wonder, joy, and meaning. 

It’s time to reclaim our childhood sense of curiosity. Getting curious is a way of seeing clearly and understanding what’s really happening. Our view is always partial and life is not rigid. Everything is more complex than surface appearances show. Putting curiosity at the heart of everything you do means you’ll discover the “unfamiliar in the familiar.”

A Curious Mind

Film producer Brian Grazer has hundreds of film and television credits, from the TV series’ 24 and Friday Night Lights to the movies, Apollo 13 and A Beautiful Mind. He owes much of his success to his curious mind and so he wrote a book about it. A Curious Mind is a delightful book which includes many entertaining stories about the interesting people he’s met throughout his career, just by being curious. 

Here are four key ways that cultivating the habit of being curious can help us to see more clearly.

1. A path to self-awareness and discovery. Grazer says that curiosity begins “as an impulse, an urge, a desire, and pops out as a question, infusing everything with a sense of possibility.” However, it requires paying attention to what you’re curious about and then acting on it. For example, when I witnessed an environmental sustainability program at a local university, I noticed an urge to learn more and wondered if I could go back to school at almost age 50 and get a Masters degree. I could and did.

2. A way to keep relationships fresh. Grazer is curious in a particular way – emotional. He wants to understand what makes people tick. As a young adult, he began having curiosity conversations with people from all walks of life as a way to expand his world. Connecting with other human beings requires trust, compassion, and sincerity. When we care about someone, we must continue wondering about them or the connection will fade and this is how relationships die.

3. A tool for creativity. Curiosity helps us to see possibilities and create something new. It sparks inspiration, which can lead to new ideas, a piece of art, or a great story. Yet, it needs follow-through to come to fruition. Grazer describes how persistence and curiosity go hand in hand. Persistence drives you forward and curiosity provides navigation. Trust your unique curiosity.

4. A path to change. Being curious isn’t just a way of understanding the world, it can lead to change. According to Grazer, this is what makes it so powerful. Grazer says that curiosity can be “inconvenient and dangerous, insurgent and revolutionary. Democracy itself requires accountability and, therefore, as citizens we need to be able to ask hard questions about what’s best for our communities.”

“Curiosity is wonderfully refreshing. You cannot use it up. In fact, the more curious you are today — about something spe­cific, or in general — the more likely you are to be curious in the future.” ~ Brian Grazer, The Golden Age of Curiosity

This is to see clearly. Evaluate less and get curious instead. Every day.

Practice

Craig Mod is a writer/photographer currently living in Japan. I just discovered his work in the last year and am really enjoying his newsletters. He has a lot to say about curiosity, more of which I’ll share next week.

“Remember to give time and attention to the “boring” commutes and “dumb” adventures to be had in our backyards. Of which, of course, exist enough to fill a curious lifetime.” ~ Craig Mod, Ridgeline

What can you get curious about this week? Hint: Notice when something seems boring or familiar or that you’ve got it all figured out. Notice when your mind is making value judgments - good, bad, beautiful, ugly, interesting, boring, worthy of attention or not. How does that limit your experience? Challenge yourself to get curious and go deeper. What questions could you ask that would bring new perspectives and open up new possibilities? 

• Get curious about yourself. What’s holding you back? What are you most interested in? How do you judge yourself and limit your experience? 

• Get curious about your photographs. When you’re drawn to a scene or subject, ask yourself who, what, when, where, and why? The why is the most important and just might provide clues as to where your best photographs will come.

• Get curious about a person. Ask questions with a genuine desire to listen to the answer. You can’t ask in such a way that it seems you already know the answer. And, you must consider the answer seriously. If you don’t, you’ll decrease engagement and trust, and foster cynicism.

• Get curious about something familiar that you take for granted. Learn more about it. Find the unfamiliar in the familiar.

• While doing a task, ask yourself what assumptions you’re making about how it should be done. Are there new ways you could approach it?

• Ask one good question each day and then follow up on it. Where does it take you?

Keep track of what you get curious about this week. How does it feel to replace judgment with curiosity?

Resources

Why You Think You’re Right, Julia Galef, TED Talk

John Dewey on The True Purpose of Education and How to Harness the Power of Curiosity via Brain Pickings

100 Questions to Spark Conversation and Connection by Alexandra Franzen