Intro to Relational Seeing

“Music is the space between the notes.” ~ Claude Debussy

Simple but powerful quote. The musical piece, the symphony, is created by and in the space between the notes. Without the space, there would be chaos. What lives in the space between - in the air - are all of our relationships (human and other). Once I began to practice being aware of the space between things, I began to see more clearly how everything is connected through relationships and encounters. This will be a major focus of our practices moving forward. 

As we’ve already explored, our daily encounters/interactions in the world are often surprising and unexpected, determined by chance. How and what we see is influenced subconsciously by the weather, the people we meet, the food we eat, and the news we read. We’re affected by the sun and wind and tides, the change of seasons, and the tug of the moon. As we’re impacted by everything and everyone with whom we’re in contact, we also impact others.

What happens when you start seeing in terms of relationships rather than things? I’ve found that the quality of my life and how clearly I see depends on the quality of my interactions and relationships. There are a number of people and writings that have formed my thinking and practice around this topic. I’ll introduce you to a few of them now.

Thomas Berry

“The Earth is not a collection of objects, but a communion of subjects.” ~ Thomas Berry

Such a simple reframe. This quote helped me see my life and world in a whole new way. Geologian Thomas Berry is one of my environmental mentors, and has helped me to see the world in terms of relationships. To see clearly, one must recognize our interdependence with humility. Every being is permeable, not a closed off entity. Each of us constitutes a web of interactions with the world around us, including other human beings. We are a communion of subjects.

Donella Meadows

The scientist and poet, Donella Meadows, wrote one of my favourite articles of all time. Here’s an excerpt.

“This fresh apple, still cold and crisp from the morning dew, is not-me only until I eat it. When I eat, I eat the soil that nourished the apple. When I drink, the waters of the earth become me. With every breath I take in I draw in not-me and make it me. With every breath out I exhale me into not-me.” ~ Donella Meadows

I certainly recommend that you read the whole article but this piece alone certainly makes me question whether there are any boundaries between me and not-me. I’m in a constant conversation with the world around me. And, I couldn’t survive without it. 

Carlo Rovelli

During the 18th century, scientists thought of the world as made up of matter, with particles moving around. During the 19th century, they began to see the world as made up of energy. In his On Being interview, physicist Carlo Rovelli explains that in the 21st century, scientists are seeing life as not made up of things, but of happenings, events, interactions. 

He describes the world in terms of flashes of light, like fireflies, where interactions are always occurring. A kiss is an example of a happening that we can easily understand. Yet, even a stone is an example of a happening over a long period of time. Sand comes together slowly, creating a solid-seeming form and then gradually disintegrates. Even the human self, Rovelli states, “is a huge wave of happenings.” 

A happening is limited in space and time, a moment, here and then gone, like the firefly’s  flicker. Things and people then become “nodes of interaction,” secondary to the happening itself. And, even ‘things’ and ‘people’ are happenings since everything is in a constant state of change or becoming.

Practice

Your mission this week is to see how your day is made up of a series of happenings.

Take note of the series of interactions that make up each day. How would you characterize the quality of those encounters? No judgment, but remember that quality is determined by everyone and every thing that plays a part, including you. How have these interactions affected you? On the flip side, what did you bring to the table? Remember this doesn’t have to be earth-shattering. A simple smile or act of kindness can make someone's day.

How does the way you see change when you look at the world as a communion of subjects rather than a collection of objects? Make a photograph that is about a relationship, interaction, or encounter. What comes up for you when you’re focused on seeing in terms of relationships rather than things?

Reflect on your human and non-human relationships? What/who do you depend on and what/who depends on you? I’ve tried to keep this in mind during the pandemic. How do my interactions affect my family, my neighbours, local businesses, and my environment? And, how do they impact me?

Do you subscribe to the idea that we live in an interdependent world where everything and everyone is defined by their relationships and interactions? I’d love to know your thoughts on this. 

Resources

Learn more about Thomas Berry

Donella Meadows, Lines in the Mind, Not in the World

Carlo Rovelli, On Being Interview