What’s your perspective?

Everyone’s got one

“We see from where we stand.” ~ Haitian Proverb

There is a popular folk tale from India about the Blind Men and the Elephant. To summarize, each blind man touches the elephant in a different spot (or from a different vantage point) - trunk, ear, tail, horn, etc. - and each comes away with a different conclusion about what an elephant is. Each is right but only partially. The message of this story is that each of us sees from our own perspective and we need many perspectives combined to get closer to the truth. I think this is probably something we can all agree on but it’s not easy to put it into practice, as evidenced by the very polarized world we’re living in now. 

As someone interested in seeing more clearly, I wanted to explore this word “perspective.” What does it mean? How do our perspectives change? How can we navigate all of the other perspectives out there? 

According to Wiktionary, the word ‘perspective’ can be broken down to the prefix ‘per,’ meaning through + ‘specere,’ meaning to look through. Synonyms include angle, outlook, slant, standpoint, viewpoint. A perspective refers to a particular way of seeing the world. It’s a mental framework that is built over time, based on environment, education, relationships, and lived experiences. And, this perspective is always changing as we gain new experiences and knowledge. 

If perspective is your own unique and selective way of viewing the world, can any one person ever see clearly? That has been the goal of much of my writing over the past few years and the honest answer is no. We’ll never have all the facts or be able to fully understand someone else’s lived experience. But we can become more aware of how our own mind works and how our perspectives originated and continue to shape us. We can become better at listening to the perspectives of others. 

My goal in this essay is not to say, “why can’t everyone just get along?” Tension, even conflict, is a necessary part of life and we need different perspectives to solve problems. The goal is to look at the many ways our perspectives are shaped and to hold them lightly.

1 Physical Vantage Points

Where we stand, physically, is our vantage point. It’s tied to the particular place and time we’re in and everything in life that led us to that point. From our particular vantage point, we always see only a portion of the world.

Try this little thought experiment. Visualize yourself right where you are as you’re reading this. Your feet are on the ground and it’s a particular time of day. Look around you. You can see a short distance in front of and beside you. What is happening? Where does your attention go? No one else is having the same experience as you right now.

Photography has taught me that there are an infinite number of vantage points from which to view something. If you can’t move your subject, you can always move your camera. Changing your vantage point changes what you see through the viewfinder. All it takes is a subtle change in vantage point in order to see in a new way. 

Since every single being is standing in a different place and embodies a whole range of previous experiences, it’s like we each have a special set of lenses through which we see. Even your next door neighbor, living in a similar time and place, will have a different view of the world. 

2 Mental Vantage Points

Besides physical vantage points, there are also mental ones, our thoughts about things, situations, ideas. Our mind is a wonderful tool that helps us to understand, to solve problems, and create meaning. The meanings we make are highly influenced by our psychological makeup, how and where we grew up, the culture of our family and place, our memories, our likes and dislikes, and where we are now. 

Imagine observing yourself on this blue ball we call Earth from way out in space. The ground spreads out miles beyond you. The whole history of the world and your own history has led you to that one spot and from there your attention is drawn to particular things based on your previous experiences and likes, dislikes, and interests. You may have things on your mind - to do lists, worries, problems, or maybe you’re anticipating something that’s going to happen later in the day. This is your world at this moment. 

You probably know your own place pretty well but you also have ideas about what’s going on in the rest of the world far beyond you, depending on your education and experiences and the news sources you follow. 

3 Stories

When we have an experience, it begins with a stimulus that activates our senses. Then, our minds jump in to create meaning from what happened. This is our response, the story we create about what happened.

There’s nothing wrong with stories; they’re an essential part of being human and are very useful in helping us to find meaning and communicate about our experience, our truth. Yet, sometimes certain aspects of our worldview can become entrenched and then reinforce how we experience the world in the future. Unless we do something to disrupt this cycle, we will never change. Our stories about how things are or were should always be open to change. Sometimes we need to let them go or revise them based on new information. This, of course, sounds easy, but it’s not. What I’m saying is that we should hold them loosely. 

The mind can and often does create stories that distort what’s really there because preconceptions, biases, assumptions, opinions, and other judgments come into play. Notice how your mind works. How many times do you immediately create a story from one interaction and then find out later you were totally (or at least partially) wrong?

Practice tapping into that space between the stimulus and the story and see more of what’s really happening before you create a story. When we let go of ‘our’ story, at least for a moment, we are seeing more clearly. The contemplative monk Thomas Merton, called this ‘self-forgetting.’ You’re giving your mind a rest and allowing yourself to simply see. 

4 Memories

Memories are a particular kind of story. They’re our interpretation or story of what happened in the past. They tell the story of our life and shape our behaviors and what we know and believe about the world. 

Memories can be triggered in the present by our physical senses, especially smell and taste. They can be treasured or painful, but either way, they’re always selective, only a snapshot of what actually happened. They’re always missing details and context. I’m not saying they aren’t true, but they are unique to you and what mattered to you at the time. They’re your truth. This is why siblings in a family can have so many different versions of the same event. 

For example, I remember my 16th year as being particularly difficult. I often felt sad and lonely. My parents and three younger siblings had moved to a new city, leaving friends and extended family behind. I lived for the letters my old friends wrote to me. Within a year, my parents separated and our family was literally split in half. My brother and I stayed with my Dad in the new city and my Mom and two sisters moved an hour away. Gradually, I made new friends and things got better.

Several years ago, I received a wonderful gift. My best friend from the place I had moved from returned to me the letters I had written to her during that terrible year. In reading them, I discovered many details that I’d completely forgotten. Yes, I was sometimes sad and lonely, but I was also a goofy and funny teenage girl, with many activities and interests, just trying to fit into her new surroundings. Those letters painted a different picture for me of that year. They reframed my memories.

5 Opinions

This leads me to the ultimate stories, our opinions, or what we think about things. As you’ve probably heard many times, opinions are not facts, although they may be based on certain facts. They’re a type of story, an interpretation, a viewpoint, an idea, or judgment formed about something. 

One of my favorite phrases is that opinions are overrated. Everyone has them, and the Internet especially has made it so easy to share them and many of us do, often. Like memories, opinions are also subjective, unique to us. Yet, they can become precious; we hold on to them like fragile treasures. 

Our opinions may be based on particular facts or knowledge but, no one ever has all the facts. There’s nothing wrong with stating an opinion, as long as you’re open to changing your mind, allowing in new information. Too often, opinions are considered right, the last word. They can stop a conversation.

An important practice for me has been to realize that it’s not always necessary to offer an opinion. Try to spend one day not forming an opinion on anything. Just notice when your mind starts to go there and say no. Let it go and sit with the experience just as it is without having to make any meaning of it. An experience doesn’t always have to be judged. 

Investigate your own beliefs, biases, and experiences and see how they shape your perspective. Ask yourself what you might be missing or what you still need to know. Decide which experts are worth your attention and learn from many before making conclusions. Beware of research that only confirms your own biases. Practice saying “I don’t know.” Become aware of your blindspots. Be willing to change your mind.

Of course, there are times when it’s necessary to speak up, especially in the face of harm. Sometimes many voices need to speak up together to right a wrong. In this case, your perspective is an important contribution to the whole. It deserves to be heard. 

6 Learning from Other Perspectives

Stories are everywhere; in the media we consume and the songs we listen to and the movies and TV shows we watch. These are other people’s stories. Personally, I think it’s fascinating to see how many different ways people can look at things. Other perspectives may be different from our own because of their own lived experiences and levels of knowledge. 

Our minds can prevent us from seeing clearly when we center our own stories or ideas above others. Humility is called for, the knowledge that there are always missing pieces in our ways of seeing. Understanding your own perspective in relation to others involves empathy, self-awareness, and an open mind. Life is dynamic and information and situations are always changing. We should always be looking for ways to expand our perspective and see in new ways. 

Be willing to consider diverse viewpoints and accept that your perspective is not the only valid one. This means having conversations or exchanging ideas, reading books or watching movies, in an attempt to broaden your understanding. Listen to others with different experiences and perspectives. Get curious. Ask more questions. Put yourself in other people’s shoes. Get to the emotional core of their beliefs. This fosters compassion and understanding. 

While everyone’s perspective deserves respect and consideration, not all are equally valid or valuable. Some perspectives will be more informed than others and some will be based on inaccurate information, or flawed reasoning, or distorted by prejudices. It’s important to learn how to critically evaluate our own and other perspectives based on facts and ethical considerations. 

Problems arise when we center our own perspectives at the expense of others. Notice when you automatically write someone off for having a different viewpoint. While it’s important to listen to other perspectives, that doesn’t mean you have to take them on. We don’t have to agree with other interpretations of reality but we can get curious as to why they might think a certain way. And, they might just change you in the process. 

That being said, perspectives that cause harm to other people or the environment should be challenged. How do you know if a perspective is harmful? Some factors to consider include its impact on others, especially those with less power; if it’s based on discrimination or harm; or if it’s based on misinformation or disinformation. 

Sometimes you may not know if your perspective is causing harm. By engaging in thoughtful dialogue, taking the time to listen to the lived experiences of others, people can recognize when a perspective crosses the line.

Conclusion

Opening ourselves to new perspectives doesn’t mean we have to agree with others or that we can’t have our own beliefs or opinions. But, we do have to know that where we stand is unique to us and doesn’t necessarily reflect the experience of others. 

It’s a lifelong quest to see into your own mind and the mind of others. Give yourself permission to take a mind a break now and then from opinions, judgments, and stories and see what’s really there. There’s a lot of heartache and also beauty in the world just waiting to be acknowledged just as it is.

I hope that this essay has helped you to think about how your perspectives shape your reality and that there are always many other perspectives to learn from. We need a variety of perspectives to solve intractable problems. Just as diversity in nature leads to greater abundance, diverse perspectives can enrich our understanding and even foster creativity. 

P.S. 

As usually happens when my mind is focused on a particular topic, I start seeing references to it everywhere. While writing about this topic, a few other posts came up that addressed the topic of perspective in different ways. 

David Cain at Raptitude wrote a wonderful piece with a great title, Nobody Knows What’s Going On. His premise is that most of what we think we know comes from second-hand sources, which most often are not well-informed. Only a tiny percentage of our knowledge comes from our lived, first-hand experience. And, I would say that even with these first-hand experiences, we often mistake OUR truth for THE truth.

Maria Popova at The Marginalian wrote about seeing clearly, citing one of my favorite books, The Living Mountain by Nan Shepherd. Popova says that “there is no true perception; it’s always a reflection of ourselves.” And, that attempting to remove, or at least see, our projections, and consequently, to see more clearly, is an act of love. 

The photographer Uta Barth has been instrumental in teaching me how to eliminate theme, narrative, story, and to photograph what I see when attention is unmotivated or undirected. 

Read: True Power Lives in Diversity and Be Aware Before you Share