Last week, I asked you to practice listening deeply, which is one way to redirect attention. For this week, let’s explore with curiosity where our attention goes in the course of each day.
At its most basic, attention is where our mind and eyes go. It’s one of our most precious resources and an indicator of what we care about. Here is a paradox about attention I’d like you to consider. Both of these things are true.
Where we place our attention is a choice. Attention is often and easily hijacked, consciously or unconsciously.
From “breaking news” to advertising that appeals to our deepest cravings to algorithms designed to cater to our interests to kids or partners or parents needing our attention, we can be pulled in many different directions. Where our attention goes is not solely up to us. It will always be determined somewhat by our environment, current circumstances, and past history. There’s a lot going on in the world right now that’s calling for our attention.
Yet, it’s also true that we can choose where we place our attention. Sometimes we look away if there’s something we don’t want to see. Maybe, instead, we need to see what’s really happening. Or, we can redirect poor habits into healthier ones.
Seeing clearly is about knowing when to turn away and when to move towards.
In the past year, I’ve noticed myself getting sucked into news and social media. Of course, this is understandable. 2020 was quite a year of uncertainty and maybe I’ve rationalized my consumption under the guise of being informed. However, I’ve also noticed that a generalized ball of anxiety gathers in the pit of my stomach when I consume too much. And, I’m not sleeping well. The news has always leaned towards the sensational and now social media does too. This is not a slam against either but too much is not healthy for my mind and body.
Laura Sewall addresses attention in the second chapter of her book, Sense and Sensibility. She makes the case that an onslaught of information and media can distort our view of the world and people and cause us to numb out and not notice anything. When we feel overwhelmed and helpless in the face of so many problems and crises, our mind and body go into survival mode and it’s easier to push it all away, to freeze. She says that “sensitivity hurts.”
I get this. When I’m numb or suffering from lack of sleep, feeling overwhelmed or helpless, I’m not seeing clearly.
I know that my best “information” comes from reading a well-researched book or an excellent piece of long-form journalism or by taking a walk in the woods. During this past year, I’ve upped my walking game, adding more hikes in the forest to my repertoire. Maybe it was because other options, like eating out or going to concerts weren’t available, but I’m so glad I did. I notice the polar difference in my body between reading the news (tightening) and walking in the woods (expanding). I’ve discovered trails I didn’t know were there and this has given me a new appreciation for this place where I live. It makes me want to contribute to its preservation, a powerful investment in the local.
Maybe you can relate to my example or maybe overdosing on the news is not a problem for you. If so, that’s great. But perhaps there are other areas where you “numb out.” While we can sometimes redirect our attention for healthier options, there are some circumstances where your attention has to go somewhere that’s difficult because this is the reality of life. For example, you’re working in health care during a pandemic or your community is cleaning up after a flood or a relative is sick or even dying. This is seeing clearly what’s needed of you right now.
Practice
This week is a gentle reminder to just notice where your attention goes and to redirect when necessary.
First, take an inventory.
How are you spending your days? Track where your attention goes in the course of a day and for how long. I made a list of things, like news, walking, preparing meals, communicating, reading, etc. You could divide your list into where your attention goes by choice and where it gets hijacked.
What are your greatest distractions right now? Are they needed or could you limit them somehow? Taking social media apps and notifications off of my phone was one of the best things I’ve done. What catches your attention by surprise this week? Is it an unexpected and delightful surprise or something undesirable?
Notice when you’re stuck in your mind, ruminating on the past or anticipating the future. Redirect your attention to the present. Take a deep breath and look around. This is where you can have agency and feel empowered to make a difference in small and big ways, whether that’s a smile and thank you to the lady at the post office, supporting a local business, picking up litter, or planting a tree. Or, just take a walk, sing, dance, write, or call a friend. Not as an escape but to refresh and regroup.
“Seeing, watching, being aware of things comes from being tuned into visual experience, paying attention to subtle shifts in the sky. It is learned, or better, it is practiced, a choice of where to place one’s attention in the world. A practice to return to that, over and over again, as one gets distracted by the events of the day. Shift attention away from the ever-present narrative, drama, or spectacle, to the still ground of experience.” ~ Uta Barth
By doing this inventory, you’ll be able to determine what matters most and where you want your attention to go.
Second, notice how what you pay attention to feels in your body.
Do you feel tension or nausea or anxiety? Do you have insomnia? What makes you feel stressed (helpless) and what makes you feel nourished (empowered)? If something doesn’t feel good, it doesn’t mean you should turn away. You may need to turn towards it and face it with courage. Or, you may need an antidote to balance it out. What it really comes down to is what you care about most and direct your attention towards that, For many of us that may be our relationships and we may need to take a good hard look at the time we invest in them.
What surprises you when you notice where your attention is going? Where do you want your attention to go in 2021? What is the best use of your attention to learn, grow, and adapt to current circumstances? If you can think of one thing to do less of and one to do more of, you’re off to a good start.
Please share your ahas in the comments below (paid subscribers) or on Instagram using the hashtag #seeingclearly2021.
Resources
David Cain, News is the Last Thing We Need Right Now.
How can geese help? I loved this New York Times article which shows how to focus closely on something in nature to get out of your own head and experience for a while.
Books mentioned in this project can be found here (paid link).
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WOW!! Very thoughtful writing for reflection! THANKS KIM!! Joining in a few weeks late. Helpful and uuplifting questions! We have no TV. Thus, that causes no problem now. I was a BIG TV fan growing up in the country, created huge problem then with isolation & shyness, but fast forward to 2021. I create my own inner TV now, since kids left home, ruminating on the past or anticipating the future. I need to change channels, decrease the noise in my mind to appreciate beauty around me. I missed the week on listening. I would be overwhelmed by the Mind-Noise. One thing to do more of: Create more flow experiences, like I did so well in Kim's FANTASTIC online classes! My mind and body loved those classes! My attention was focused more on the now. I need to make a list of flow activities. One things to do less of: Worrying about self, family, past, future, death-which are not flow activities. This is Mind-Noise. Maybe I need to listen more carefully to the message, and let it go.
Well, this week was a bit of an education. For over a decade I’ve followed news developments as part of my job, and while I take issue with David Cain’s article about news being the last thing we need right now, I also know that moderation is healthy, as is a sense of purpose for why we pay attention to things. As of two weeks ago, I no longer have to follow the news, and I’ve learned that habits hold hard.
I’ve been deliberately spending more time with the phone turned off, and need to get back to carrying a pad and pencil to jot down ideas, rather than take notes on my phone, which leads to checking other things.
Long walks are of tremendous benefit. They give me time to pay attention to what's around me, and the more I notice, well, the more I notice.
One of the things I have noticed is that reading (novels) seems to slow my mind jumping to other distractions, not only when I'm reading, but in general. When I read, I concentrate and avoid the little jumps of distraction I'm prone to. I'm reading more right now, and it seems to hold when I put the book down. I learned last week about the benefits of listening deeply, but I hadn't realized reading may do something similar.