Coyote, VJAnderson, CC BY-SA 4.0 via Wikimedia Commons
For the past month, we’ve practised listening to our places. This lays the foundation for our theme this month, which is kinship, or reciprocal relationships. I’ll draw from the writings of Robin Wall Kimmerer in her book, Braiding Sweetgrass, as well as the Center for Humans and Nature book series on kinship.
Kith and Kin
The terms ‘kith and kin’ are another way of saying ‘friends and family,’ or the people with whom you are in a relationship. Kin is generally thought of as blood relations, while friends are people with whom you have something in common, whether an interest or just mutual admiration. Sometimes we refer to our closest friends as ‘chosen family.’ For our purposes, let’s think about kin as those we care about and who care about us.
Over the past few months, we’ve established that there are many inhabitants of a place, human and non-human. These include the plants and animals, trees and forests, rocks and water. But, do we feel kinship with these inhabitants? Just as we come to know and understand our close friends, we can come to know and understand our place, including all of the other inhabitants and the relationships that tie them together.
In her book, Rooted, Lyanda Lynn Haupt says that we have more in common with these other inhabitants than we realize. Many of them breathe, eat, grow, and mate just like we do. Everything has its own sense of aliveness, albeit different from our own. So, kith and kin take on new meaning in a place.
“Kin is from the Old English, of the same kind. Together, we are made of the fine things: clay, salt, water, stardust. Kith is a relationship based on knowledge of place, the close landscape.” ~ Lyanda Lynn Haupt, Rooted
Choosing to know your place at a more intimate level creates kinship. Over the past few years of staying close to home, I’ve begun to see the animals and plants and birds in my yard and neighbourhood as kin. I even feel a closeness with the lake and the creeks and the rock of my place. They are a part of me and I am a part of them. We coexist together in a web of relationships, where each has its role.
For example, in my place there has been a lot of concern recently about coyotes being spotted in neighbourhoods. People are afraid for their small children and dogs. I would probably be afraid too if I still had a small dog. But, few people are speaking for or listening to the needs of the coyotes, who are just looking for food, water, and shelter.
There was a video circulating with the headline, “brazen coyote attacking a small dog.” The owner of the dog, who was on a leash, was rightly terrified. But when I watched the video, I saw two fearful animals lunging, most likely seeing each other as threats. Of course, the coyote was much bigger and would have probably won that fight.
There are reasons that coyotes are roaming the neighborhoods, like loss of habitat and wildlife corridors and the availability of food sources. These things can be addressed over time. There’s much to learn and understand about coyotes, who are an important keystone species of a place. Learn about coyotes in urban environments.
Practice
This week, simply ask yourself what the word ‘kin’ means to you. And, who do you consider to be kin? Make a list.
Practice expanding that list first by listening. Choose one non-human inhabitant of your place and imagine their life. What are their daily habits? What do they need? What do they offer? Ask them, “What are you saying?“ Then listen deeply, beyond language. If you’re game, choose one you already feel fond of, and then do the same with one you consider a pest. I do hope you’ll share what you discover.
Resources
Listening and the Crisis of Inattention - this important interview with David Haskell via Emergence Magazine connects listening with kinship.
The 5-volume Kinship book series is from the Center for Humans and Nature. I have not yet purchased this series, but I have drawn from the associated podcast and YouTube series.